you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
