Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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