Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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