all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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