I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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