So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
