He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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