yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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