Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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