Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
