Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
