similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
