Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
