i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
