so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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