Will you blow on my dice?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
