You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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