I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
