I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize