the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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