Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
