Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
