I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize