She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
