hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
