my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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