how can u be prego again
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
