In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Randomize
