I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
