fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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