There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
