Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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