Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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