I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
