I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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