first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
