Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
