Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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