i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
