I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
