I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
