Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
