Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
