I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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