She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
