I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
