Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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