All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My penis needs a shock collar
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
