Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
