either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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