Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
