'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
