Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
