Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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