You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
do herpes really smell.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
