Having a random hookup so left but love u
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
