Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
