just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize