my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
