i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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