Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
